Changing my thinking changed my life.
As time progressed in my journey, I continued to have my same debilitating symptoms, Illness was changing my life yet again, only this time for the better. It was teaching me that my perspective on life was the difference between being happy or not, that gratitude was everything. I could manage my reactions and symptoms much better and planned for recovery days before and after an activity that might weaken my immune system or cause a flare. I was finding that beautiful balance. To this day, I still work towards it, but as life is life and I cannot control it all I am always up and down, but that’s okay.
I feel so fortunate to even have good days now because there was a time where I didn’t have this and there was a time where I laid in the hospital next to someone who I’m sure was wishing they could trade shoes. I’ve learned to embrace the lows just as much as the high’s as they both are reminders to stay humble and constantly work towards that equilibrium.
I learned to be proud of the smallest amount of progress, which for a perfectionist was (and still is) extremely difficult at times. I had to learn to accept that showering on my own was a huge accomplishment, or that walking my dog and being able to drive was making progress. The simplest tasks I used to complete without thinking were suddenly my biggest accomplishments. I became grateful to be where I was and remembered each day just how far I had come. The memories of the good days have become my motivation to get through the bad days when the pain is so severe I want to give up again. It can be very challenging when you have dreams and goals and your roadblock is not just temporary, but like anything we learn and adapt along the way. For me it has become no longer a concept of “How can I get through this?”, but “How can I learn to live my best life with this?”.
That my friend, is what I call perspective change.