Shaking In My Boots
or perhaps shaking my boots off??
09/04/17 – Part II
If you recall from Part I, I was down the lake with friends and family Saturday evening, feeling all the feels, good and bad. When we were coming into Canyon I felt a migraine coming on and began slamming water hoping to fight it off. When we got to the house I was feeling a little off, but assumed I was just tired. I plugged my phone into the wall and was standing there typing a message, but before I could finish my message, the words on the page blurred and duplicated. Before I could readjust my focus, I fainted and fell to the floor.
My parents came over to help me up, but I felt so weak I couldn’t move for a moment. When I was ready they helped me to the couch. I was shaking and very weak. I tried to sit up, but a sharp pain shot from my hip and buckled over into the couch. Damn nerve pain.
Suddenly my jaw was starting to shake. I tried to hold it still, but it wasn’t working. Soon my legs and arms were shaking too. Moments later my whole body was in a spasm and I started choking. I could breathe in air, but I couldn’t get it to my lungs and I was gripping my throat while attempting to gasp for air. My poor parents were offering all the help they could and asking questions but I couldn’t answer.
After a few minutes, it seemed to settle and I focused on taking slow deep breaths (thank you yoga). My breaths felt restricted but no longer suffocating. I said to my mortified parents “I’m okay, it’s okay.” Mom answered, “No Lexi, you aren’t. I think we need to go to the hospital.” I didn’t object, but I did have to go to the bathroom first. They helped me walk there; my legs quivering as I walked. When I went to dry my hands, I fainted and fell down again. They tried to help me back up, but my legs were even weaker this time. I tried to walk but the tremor was so strong I couldn’t. Dad threw me over his shoulder and carried me to the truck.
On the way into town my whole body started convulsing. It would settle for a few seconds, then start up again even stronger. I was getting bouts of nerve pain shooting through the thrashing of my body and flailing arms. I kept hitting my head and my arms to my chest losing more and more control. I just remember saying “ What’s happening?” anytime I could get a word out.
I started choking for air again, I was trying so hard to slow my breath and breathe deep but it was like my throat muscles were spasm-ing too. I’ve had panic attacks before and this was completely different. At this point I was having trouble keeping my eyes open and before I knew it I was on Dad’s shoulder, still convulsing, being carried into the hospital. I was feeling faint and began to just let it happen and trusted that Dad wouldn’t let me fall.
I don’t remember much of my vitals or the nurses. I just remember it almost settling again. I was sitting on the edge of a bed and the nurse gave me a shot of epinephrine in the leg before losing complete control again thrashing against my mom behind me before falling down. They told me to stay still so they could get the IV in, I tried so hard and in my head I held it still, but my Mom told me after they had 4 of them holding me down.
I could hear Mom’s voice and the nurse telling me it’s okay and not to resist the shaking. I wasn’t fighting at all anymore, I was in complete defeat. I struggled for deep breaths and to stay conscious as I hit the bedside railings and flung the pulse oximeter off my hand time after time. The Doctor kept telling me to keep my eyes open, but it was like lifting weights with your eyelids, it felt impossible.
I lie there convulsing for what felt like an hour, but was probably minutes before finally I was no longer thrashing. I was shaking a little and starting to feel my breaths return. When it was settled enough they were able to give me oxygen and ventolin. I felt like my eyes lit up when I took my first breath. It went right into my lungs and was completely euphoric. Breathing fully is pretty freaking amazing when you haven’t been able to do so.
When the mask came off I exclaimed, “I can breathe!”
Mom and Dad responded, “We know.”
We all smiled.
I was still shaking and Dad held a cup of water for me because I wasn’t stable enough to yet. Both my parents stayed for a bit before I told them to go home to get some sleep (I’m not known for lacking in being bossy;)). I feel like it was almost more traumatic for them to see that than me to experience. I wished for us all that this wasn’t happening; yet I was so thankful to have such loving, supportive parents.
I woke up around 5AM in delirium to Daine’s face smiling in the chair across from my bed. He drove from Calgary all night to be there when I woke up. All night! Amongst the trauma, my heart felt so full. The support from him, my family and the ER team was beyond what I could ask for. I felt grateful to have that and control of my body again.
I left the hospital around 11 the next day, very weak, but doing so much better in comparison. I couldn’t wait to get home, rest, and have some doggie snuggles of course. We didn’t have answers to why or what exactly happened, but we suspected it was the smoke or the new nerve pain medication I was on. The truth is, it could have been the Lyme disease spreading to my neurological system. Who knows really?!